Party on, NSS
I totally just finished a paper about a book with no textual references! I also refered to myself in first person! Numerous times! Oh man, who needs to drink their tuition away? My wild and crazy self is half-assing things while I'm completely sober! Woo! Everybody, raise a glass of milk to New Student Seminars and taking them pass-fail.
You know, some people collect jokes off of Laughy-Taffy wrappers. At Augustana, administrators get their kicks out of assigning "values essays" based on Chaim Potok's The Chosen, and finding different ways to convince people someone reads them. They give bonus points and candy to any teacher who can convince a student than someone actually cares. So far, no one's scored on me.
That may have come out wrong...
I thought I might look for a job on campus because I wasn't awarded work study. Turns out, I'm not that desperate.
My first option was to join "calling crew." The situation was explained to me in an e-mail with lots of spelling errors and exclamation points! With "calling crew," I would have the opportunity to call alumni and ask them for money. It didn't sound like a very good job for a person with limited social skills and low self esteem. I decided to look for a job that involved something other than me being rejected over and over again.
Then, I saw a sign on a wall advertising openings for "Red Bull representatives." There was a long list of criteria of which I met none. Call me crazy, but I think that if you have a "passion for Red Bull and want to share it with others," you may want to re-evaluate your life goals and values. No offense, Red Bull spokespeople of the world, I just don't get you. Perhaps no one ever will.
Finally, I checked the career center website for community job listings off campus within walking distance. My only options were ghetto Hy-Vee and a terrifying call for workers in a "pharmeceutical plant." Qualifications included sharp vision, the ability to read fine, colored print for log periods of time and the ability to lift fifty pounds. I didn't check, but the workers are probably paid with suckers, gum, hookers and/or kibble, depending on age, gender and species.
In conclusion, extra cash is overrated.
You know, some people collect jokes off of Laughy-Taffy wrappers. At Augustana, administrators get their kicks out of assigning "values essays" based on Chaim Potok's The Chosen, and finding different ways to convince people someone reads them. They give bonus points and candy to any teacher who can convince a student than someone actually cares. So far, no one's scored on me.
That may have come out wrong...
I thought I might look for a job on campus because I wasn't awarded work study. Turns out, I'm not that desperate.
My first option was to join "calling crew." The situation was explained to me in an e-mail with lots of spelling errors and exclamation points! With "calling crew," I would have the opportunity to call alumni and ask them for money. It didn't sound like a very good job for a person with limited social skills and low self esteem. I decided to look for a job that involved something other than me being rejected over and over again.
Then, I saw a sign on a wall advertising openings for "Red Bull representatives." There was a long list of criteria of which I met none. Call me crazy, but I think that if you have a "passion for Red Bull and want to share it with others," you may want to re-evaluate your life goals and values. No offense, Red Bull spokespeople of the world, I just don't get you. Perhaps no one ever will.
Finally, I checked the career center website for community job listings off campus within walking distance. My only options were ghetto Hy-Vee and a terrifying call for workers in a "pharmeceutical plant." Qualifications included sharp vision, the ability to read fine, colored print for log periods of time and the ability to lift fifty pounds. I didn't check, but the workers are probably paid with suckers, gum, hookers and/or kibble, depending on age, gender and species.
In conclusion, extra cash is overrated.
posted by Caitlin at 9:36 AM
2 Comments:
oh caitlin, how i love you. you know, being paid in kibble isn't so bad...sometimes college makes you desperate...
god i'd kill for an ipod.
caitlin you are my hero.
for the rest of the week i will laugh in my head when i think of you.
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