The cool kids do pollen and pet dander.
The other day a boy asked me if I was high.
No, really.
Man, if I had a nickle for every time someone asked me that...I'd have somewhere in the neighborhood of ten cents.
I wish I had been high. It probably would have made the whole paper writing experience much more enjoyable. I had this four sentence conversation when I went down to the dorm lobby at two o' clock in the morning to get my paper out of the printer. My allergies were making me miserable and I was at that late night paper point were my eyes were all squinty and bleary and the words on the computer screen were going all wavy and realigning themselves of their own free will. My domain as ruler of the keyboard had been undermined by the rebellious peasant masses of Times New Roman.
But seriously, I wasn't high.
Anyway, when I arrived in the lobby, there were a few people gathered around the front desk. One of them took one look at me and his eyes lit up.
"Are you high?" he asked.
"no." I said.
"Then why are you all bloodshot and...messed up?"
He's a real smooth talker, that Luke. I explained that I don't always need drugs to get messed up and went on my way.
I hope you guys enjoyed that story. It's a time of year when I always look like I've been abusing lots of substances. I feel so uncool when I explain that, no, it's not liquor or weed, it's...um...pollen and pet dander. It would probably be better if I just stopped trying to explain altogether. If anyone asks, I am soooo stoned right now.
No, really.
Man, if I had a nickle for every time someone asked me that...I'd have somewhere in the neighborhood of ten cents.
I wish I had been high. It probably would have made the whole paper writing experience much more enjoyable. I had this four sentence conversation when I went down to the dorm lobby at two o' clock in the morning to get my paper out of the printer. My allergies were making me miserable and I was at that late night paper point were my eyes were all squinty and bleary and the words on the computer screen were going all wavy and realigning themselves of their own free will. My domain as ruler of the keyboard had been undermined by the rebellious peasant masses of Times New Roman.
But seriously, I wasn't high.
Anyway, when I arrived in the lobby, there were a few people gathered around the front desk. One of them took one look at me and his eyes lit up.
"Are you high?" he asked.
"no." I said.
"Then why are you all bloodshot and...messed up?"
He's a real smooth talker, that Luke. I explained that I don't always need drugs to get messed up and went on my way.
I hope you guys enjoyed that story. It's a time of year when I always look like I've been abusing lots of substances. I feel so uncool when I explain that, no, it's not liquor or weed, it's...um...pollen and pet dander. It would probably be better if I just stopped trying to explain altogether. If anyone asks, I am soooo stoned right now.
posted by Caitlin at 4:55 PM
4 Comments:
It was awesome Caitlin!!!! I really thought you were high at first until I actually started to read! Yeah! Lalalalalallalalala, I can't hear you, lalalalalalalal!!! I know, I'm so funny!
hugs not drugs, caitlin. i turn my back on you for 2 months and you turn into a stoner. jeez, didn't mrs. ladue and jenny's meth lab teach you anything?
It's psychologically proven that if you're drunk while studying, you should be drunk while taking the test--something about remembering things better when in you're in the same state of mind. So Caitlin, from one substance abuser to another, don't try to write a paper if you're high unless you were high when you read the book.
Hey, maybe we can all get wasted during Thanksgiving break! That'd be pretty awesome!!! People are always better friends once they've been drunk/high/etc. together! Right...?
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