Madness!
Hey guys. Sorry I haven't talked to any of you in so long. I'll send out personal updates soon...I really do like hearing from you. It occurs to me, however, that in order to do so, you must hear from me first. There's a give and take to e-mail relationships that way. Unless you are Kristina. Sorry you all thought I was dead. I'm not, but thanks for blowing my previous comment record totally out of the water. It's nice to know that if I actually did die, at least five people would publicly acknowledge having known me. At least as public as anonymous blogspot screen names can be...
You will all be glad to know that I am still physically among the living. Only dead inside, as usual.
I wish I had a good excuse for not writing for so long, but I don't have one. I'm just suffering from a little bit of writer's block. You people make me nervous. I sense that you're expecting wit and charm from me, and it's hard to deliver week after week. So, in order to get over this burn out of sorts, I've decided to stop trying so hard. Lower your expectations people.
This week, I shall simply offer up a list of things that piss me off. I've been pissed off in general for a while, and I'm not sure why. I think it has something to do with people being around all the time. They're everywhere. And you know how I feel about people. Maybe this list of things that suck will help me get over my random rage.
Let's start with the obvious:
1. Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day pisses me off. The cliches are inescapable whether you're boycotting with suicide movies and black nail polish or spazzing over what to buy the love of your life/love of your week. The source of most of my resentment, I imagine, is fairly clear to the majority of you. The fact that I -- resenter of all things pink, lacy, cliche, sparkley, kitteny and touchy feely -- am rubbed the wrong way by Valentine's Day, should hardly come as a surprise to anyone reading this.
However, I also resent the fact that I, a perennial single, am expected to be bitter. Quit feeling so sorry for me, you people filled with love and other warm feelings. It's true, sometimes I think about how nice it would be to share days like February 14th with someone special, but I don't get as upset about being single as the world seems to think I do. Really, I'm OK. I'm not going to crawl into bed with a gallon of rocky road ice-cream and all my tears tonight just because I don't have anyone to give that "will you be my magical sweetheart" Harry potter valentine to. I wallow in self pity for many other reasons most of the time already. The last thing I need is an entire season where it's encouraged. Singles of the world unite! It could be a whole lot worse.
2. Hillary Duff. Well, I'm not so much mad at her as I am mad at most of America and Japan for buying her "Best of" CD.
3. Good Looking People who get away with being obnoxious because they're good looking. Why does society give a free pass to every idiot with a six pack? Yes Suzie cute-face, your boyfriend's a real looker, but he's also a socially impaired lunatic who thinks the US would be a lot better off if those colored folks weren't allowed to vote. If I have to hear, "Well, I know, but he has the most adorable southern accent" from you one more time, so help me...
That's all I have time for now. I'll finish the list in a bit once I've had time to process and cool down. Right now I'm too fired up about Hillary Duff to think coherently.
You will all be glad to know that I am still physically among the living. Only dead inside, as usual.
I wish I had a good excuse for not writing for so long, but I don't have one. I'm just suffering from a little bit of writer's block. You people make me nervous. I sense that you're expecting wit and charm from me, and it's hard to deliver week after week. So, in order to get over this burn out of sorts, I've decided to stop trying so hard. Lower your expectations people.
This week, I shall simply offer up a list of things that piss me off. I've been pissed off in general for a while, and I'm not sure why. I think it has something to do with people being around all the time. They're everywhere. And you know how I feel about people. Maybe this list of things that suck will help me get over my random rage.
Let's start with the obvious:
1. Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day pisses me off. The cliches are inescapable whether you're boycotting with suicide movies and black nail polish or spazzing over what to buy the love of your life/love of your week. The source of most of my resentment, I imagine, is fairly clear to the majority of you. The fact that I -- resenter of all things pink, lacy, cliche, sparkley, kitteny and touchy feely -- am rubbed the wrong way by Valentine's Day, should hardly come as a surprise to anyone reading this.
However, I also resent the fact that I, a perennial single, am expected to be bitter. Quit feeling so sorry for me, you people filled with love and other warm feelings. It's true, sometimes I think about how nice it would be to share days like February 14th with someone special, but I don't get as upset about being single as the world seems to think I do. Really, I'm OK. I'm not going to crawl into bed with a gallon of rocky road ice-cream and all my tears tonight just because I don't have anyone to give that "will you be my magical sweetheart" Harry potter valentine to. I wallow in self pity for many other reasons most of the time already. The last thing I need is an entire season where it's encouraged. Singles of the world unite! It could be a whole lot worse.
2. Hillary Duff. Well, I'm not so much mad at her as I am mad at most of America and Japan for buying her "Best of" CD.
3. Good Looking People who get away with being obnoxious because they're good looking. Why does society give a free pass to every idiot with a six pack? Yes Suzie cute-face, your boyfriend's a real looker, but he's also a socially impaired lunatic who thinks the US would be a lot better off if those colored folks weren't allowed to vote. If I have to hear, "Well, I know, but he has the most adorable southern accent" from you one more time, so help me...
That's all I have time for now. I'll finish the list in a bit once I've had time to process and cool down. Right now I'm too fired up about Hillary Duff to think coherently.
posted by Caitlin at 8:57 AM
2 comments
