Poll Results and Also Adventure!
Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but it took longer than I expected to tally the whopping eight votes my last entry drew. Firstly, I had to investigate a bit of suspected corruption in the circle of big boss Christa and her gangsta political machine. Secondly, I wasn't anticipating a full ranking of all options presented by everyone who voted, so I had to spend about a month devising a complex run off system to fairly tally the ballots. It will be pretty hard for those of you who haven't single handedly run an entire blog election to understandthe process, but the short version is: I'm going to exercise my blogtator powers to do whatever the hell I want. Now, Don't worry. The voting wasn't completely purposeless. I still plan on writing entries for all of the options that landed in your top fives most consistently. However, in light of recent events, a few items must be re-prioritized. Namely option 2. Trust me, once you've read about the new depths my stupidity has reached, you will say to yourself, "Wow, Caitlin the blogtator is funny when she cries. I'm so glad she nullified all her promises to me as a democratic blog citizen to bring me that story about how dumb she is. It makes me feel better about myself." And then I will use your testimony in my next blog election campaign.
Now, who wants come with me on yet another airport adventure?
Let's work backwards, shall we? I will begin by saying that, about an hour ago, I discovered that I had left my purse on the shuttle from the Columbus airport to Kenyon. Now, you must understand that this is the smallest problem I have encountered while traveling these past two weeks. My missing purse is merely the icing, if you will, on the cake that is my boundless idiocy.
Now let's backtrack to two months ago, when I was trying to get to Gambier from Columbus after winter break. I discovered the night before I left home that my flight was scheduled to arrive at the airport after all shuttles to campus stopped running. Then, everything was delayed because of a timely snowstorm, I lost my luggage and, while waiting for it, missed the car I emotionally blackmailed my mother into booking for me at the last minute to take me back to campus.
Have you ever had one of those moments there you look around, mentally note the place at the airport food court that sells the cheapest "big chug" and try to convince yourself that it wouldn't be so bad to live in an airport? I have that moment every time I fly. I thought, at the time, that this shuttle thing had happened partly because of poor planning on my part, but mostly because I had done something wrong in another life to displease the travel gods. Maybe I walked up a down escalator. Perhaps I crossed my fingers when a stewardice asked me if I was comfortable performing the duties of someone seated in an exit row because no, I had no intent to perform those duties, but wanted the extra leg room anyway. Whatever the reason, surely I had done nothing in my current life to deserve this. I see clearly now that it has all been pre-emptive karma up until this flight. All my mishaps in the past have merely been penance for the unbelievable stupidity I displayed two weeks ago.
Fast forward now to that flight. This was before the purse, but after the shuttle debacle. Still with me? I had just arrived at the airport, fresh off of choir tour and ready for some relaxation at home. Clutching my flight itinerary, I made my way to the self check in. I punched in my six letter code and waited for a second before the touch screen informed my that my itinerary could not be found. No matter, I thought. I must have made an error. I had no idea. I punched the code in again. The computer said, "Your itinerary could not be found, dumbass." Beginning to panic now, I looked over my itinerary and then up at the man behind the counter.
"Excuse me sir", I said, "What is today's date?"
He looked at his watch and replied, "It is the tenth of March."
Once again I glanced at my itinerary and said, "Oh God. I think I am going to need some assistance."
I had booked my flight a week late.
The date I had on my itinerary was march 17th, not the tenth. The reason I couldn't check in was because most airports don't like it when you come a week early. When the man got back to me at the loser...I mean..."Help" counter, His first words were, "So I take it you're not supposed to be flying today." I told him what I had done, and he was kind enough to not address me as the crazy loser freak I obviously am. After much button pushing and furrowing of his brow, the problem was fixed for the small fee of a hundred dollars.
Once he finished everything up, I walked, dejected to the food court where several other chamber singers were hanging out waiting for their flights. I told them what had happened and then invited them to stop being friends with me. It was the same invitation I will now extend to all of you. I also invented a new mantra I would like to share with the world. The next time you're doing the crossword in the Times and you can't figure out 34 across and you catch yourself thinking you're less than brilliant, just say to yourself, "Well, at least I didn't book my own flight a week late..." You can add it to the lexicon of other mantras I have unknowingly put forth on this blog over time such as, "well, at least I've never never tried to crash teen night at my town's only nightclub," and, "Well, at least I know how to count."
Now because, as you know, I am a glass half full kind of gal, let me tell you about the bright side to all of this. Silver lining number one: If my purse had been stolen of the shuttle, there would be very little money left on the cash card in my wallet due to the fact that I was charged a hundred dollars for BOOKING MY FLIGHT A WEEK LATE. So take that, thief! Crime doesn't pay for you, as I am broke anyway! Silver number two: My parents though the whole thing was hilarious. Upon arriving home, my mother said to my father, "Yeah, when we got there, Caitlin was already waiting for us. Her plane got in early...
...A whole week early!"
Ha ha ha.
Oh, I don't even deserve your pity.
Now, who wants come with me on yet another airport adventure?
Let's work backwards, shall we? I will begin by saying that, about an hour ago, I discovered that I had left my purse on the shuttle from the Columbus airport to Kenyon. Now, you must understand that this is the smallest problem I have encountered while traveling these past two weeks. My missing purse is merely the icing, if you will, on the cake that is my boundless idiocy.
Now let's backtrack to two months ago, when I was trying to get to Gambier from Columbus after winter break. I discovered the night before I left home that my flight was scheduled to arrive at the airport after all shuttles to campus stopped running. Then, everything was delayed because of a timely snowstorm, I lost my luggage and, while waiting for it, missed the car I emotionally blackmailed my mother into booking for me at the last minute to take me back to campus.
Have you ever had one of those moments there you look around, mentally note the place at the airport food court that sells the cheapest "big chug" and try to convince yourself that it wouldn't be so bad to live in an airport? I have that moment every time I fly. I thought, at the time, that this shuttle thing had happened partly because of poor planning on my part, but mostly because I had done something wrong in another life to displease the travel gods. Maybe I walked up a down escalator. Perhaps I crossed my fingers when a stewardice asked me if I was comfortable performing the duties of someone seated in an exit row because no, I had no intent to perform those duties, but wanted the extra leg room anyway. Whatever the reason, surely I had done nothing in my current life to deserve this. I see clearly now that it has all been pre-emptive karma up until this flight. All my mishaps in the past have merely been penance for the unbelievable stupidity I displayed two weeks ago.
Fast forward now to that flight. This was before the purse, but after the shuttle debacle. Still with me? I had just arrived at the airport, fresh off of choir tour and ready for some relaxation at home. Clutching my flight itinerary, I made my way to the self check in. I punched in my six letter code and waited for a second before the touch screen informed my that my itinerary could not be found. No matter, I thought. I must have made an error. I had no idea. I punched the code in again. The computer said, "Your itinerary could not be found, dumbass." Beginning to panic now, I looked over my itinerary and then up at the man behind the counter.
"Excuse me sir", I said, "What is today's date?"
He looked at his watch and replied, "It is the tenth of March."
Once again I glanced at my itinerary and said, "Oh God. I think I am going to need some assistance."
I had booked my flight a week late.
The date I had on my itinerary was march 17th, not the tenth. The reason I couldn't check in was because most airports don't like it when you come a week early. When the man got back to me at the loser...I mean..."Help" counter, His first words were, "So I take it you're not supposed to be flying today." I told him what I had done, and he was kind enough to not address me as the crazy loser freak I obviously am. After much button pushing and furrowing of his brow, the problem was fixed for the small fee of a hundred dollars.
Once he finished everything up, I walked, dejected to the food court where several other chamber singers were hanging out waiting for their flights. I told them what had happened and then invited them to stop being friends with me. It was the same invitation I will now extend to all of you. I also invented a new mantra I would like to share with the world. The next time you're doing the crossword in the Times and you can't figure out 34 across and you catch yourself thinking you're less than brilliant, just say to yourself, "Well, at least I didn't book my own flight a week late..." You can add it to the lexicon of other mantras I have unknowingly put forth on this blog over time such as, "well, at least I've never never tried to crash teen night at my town's only nightclub," and, "Well, at least I know how to count."
Now because, as you know, I am a glass half full kind of gal, let me tell you about the bright side to all of this. Silver lining number one: If my purse had been stolen of the shuttle, there would be very little money left on the cash card in my wallet due to the fact that I was charged a hundred dollars for BOOKING MY FLIGHT A WEEK LATE. So take that, thief! Crime doesn't pay for you, as I am broke anyway! Silver number two: My parents though the whole thing was hilarious. Upon arriving home, my mother said to my father, "Yeah, when we got there, Caitlin was already waiting for us. Her plane got in early...
...A whole week early!"
Ha ha ha.
Oh, I don't even deserve your pity.
posted by Caitlin at 9:19 PM
9 comments
