Jinx
Oh my traveling companions...
Remember that time I tried to smuggle a little Fiscar weapon of death onto the plane back from Poland? Remember how I left my passport on the plane back from Italy and thought they were going to make me live in the airport like Tom Hanks in The Terminal? (It was based on a true story...) How about that time they almost didn't let me on the plane to Washington DC on account of social leprosy? No? No one remembers that last time, you say? Because it just happened a few weeks ago? Well, gather round my friends. Watch as a new chapter unfolds in the saga of Caitlin the travel jinx.
I arrived at the airport to embark upon my adventure at Advocacy days in DC clutching a bright red suitcase filled with fancy shoes and grown-up clothes and an orange folder containing the flight schedule I was sent by the internet. Since I purchased the ticket myself, I assumed something would go wrong, but I managed to get my ticket and make it to security without incident.
But, just as I was about to relax, I was thwarted by the lady checking ID's at the top of the escalator. I gave my coughlearner'spermitcough to her and her hair and her eye shadow and her fake nails:
Her: "Well this doesn't make any sense."
Me: "Well, um, it's not a driver's license..."
Her: "I know that. Do you see this expiration date?"(...You nineteen year old licenseless freak, she said with her eyes...)
Me: "Oh. So, um, it's not valid?"
Her:"Well, not in my eyes. Take this down to the desk where you checked in."
Me: stare, stare, stare, blink, "Where?"
Her: "Where you checked in. Then come back."
OK
I followed her instructions and handed my permit to a grumpy old man behind the counter and he frowned over it and shook his head, then drew two big red S's on my boarding pass and sent be back up the escalator. The S's Probably stood for Super Stupid or Sad...Simpleton. Oh leave me alone, it was traumatic.
I re-showed my ticket to Cranky Ms. A-hair-band-somewhere-wants-its-hairspray-and-eyeliner-back, and she ushered me into the special line for criminals. Apparently, I was the only criminal in the whole Sioux Falls airport at the time, since the line they were all supposed to be in consisted of me alone. So... on second thought, it wasn't so much a line as it was me standing by myself behind a length of red tape trying to decide whether I should be annoyed or terrified. Next, I waited while a woman with gloves and a spiffy uniform patted me down and went through all of my things behind a little shield so I couldn't see what she was doing and wouldn't make a scene when she found my guns and Vodka. Another guard tested by backpack for chemicals and explosives (Oh yes, chemicals and explosives) and finally sent me on my way.
I take the party with me where ever I go.
What is it with me? Why can't I just get on the plane and off the plane without causing any trouble? They've probably put my name on a special Super Stupid airport deviant list by now. I'm never leaving the tri-state area again.
Remember that time I tried to smuggle a little Fiscar weapon of death onto the plane back from Poland? Remember how I left my passport on the plane back from Italy and thought they were going to make me live in the airport like Tom Hanks in The Terminal? (It was based on a true story...) How about that time they almost didn't let me on the plane to Washington DC on account of social leprosy? No? No one remembers that last time, you say? Because it just happened a few weeks ago? Well, gather round my friends. Watch as a new chapter unfolds in the saga of Caitlin the travel jinx.
I arrived at the airport to embark upon my adventure at Advocacy days in DC clutching a bright red suitcase filled with fancy shoes and grown-up clothes and an orange folder containing the flight schedule I was sent by the internet. Since I purchased the ticket myself, I assumed something would go wrong, but I managed to get my ticket and make it to security without incident.
But, just as I was about to relax, I was thwarted by the lady checking ID's at the top of the escalator. I gave my coughlearner'spermitcough to her and her hair and her eye shadow and her fake nails:
Her: "Well this doesn't make any sense."
Me: "Well, um, it's not a driver's license..."
Her: "I know that. Do you see this expiration date?"(...You nineteen year old licenseless freak, she said with her eyes...)
Me: "Oh. So, um, it's not valid?"
Her:"Well, not in my eyes. Take this down to the desk where you checked in."
Me: stare, stare, stare, blink, "Where?"
Her: "Where you checked in. Then come back."
OK
I followed her instructions and handed my permit to a grumpy old man behind the counter and he frowned over it and shook his head, then drew two big red S's on my boarding pass and sent be back up the escalator. The S's Probably stood for Super Stupid or Sad...Simpleton. Oh leave me alone, it was traumatic.
I re-showed my ticket to Cranky Ms. A-hair-band-somewhere-wants-its-hairspray-and-eyeliner-back, and she ushered me into the special line for criminals. Apparently, I was the only criminal in the whole Sioux Falls airport at the time, since the line they were all supposed to be in consisted of me alone. So... on second thought, it wasn't so much a line as it was me standing by myself behind a length of red tape trying to decide whether I should be annoyed or terrified. Next, I waited while a woman with gloves and a spiffy uniform patted me down and went through all of my things behind a little shield so I couldn't see what she was doing and wouldn't make a scene when she found my guns and Vodka. Another guard tested by backpack for chemicals and explosives (Oh yes, chemicals and explosives) and finally sent me on my way.
I take the party with me where ever I go.
What is it with me? Why can't I just get on the plane and off the plane without causing any trouble? They've probably put my name on a special Super Stupid airport deviant list by now. I'm never leaving the tri-state area again.
posted by Caitlin at 8:40 AM
5 Comments:
...apparently you've attracted some party from germany as well...
oh, cailtin. you should really stop trying to smuggle biological weapons onto airplanes. you would get along with a friend of mine here who has lost her student id at least 3 times.
Marcy here...good story. Even though I had already heard it...I laughed out loud and once again when asked if I was crying, by one of my co-workers...had to say..."No, I'm laughing at Caitlin's Blog."
My favorite part had to be the description of the white head band lady.
It was good to see you and the fam this last Saturday. Keep up the new stories! MORE MORE MORE!
I'm glad you're confined to the tri-state area forever. It's people like you who screw up everything on the east coast.
By the way, I'm writing this comment FOUR FULL DAYS after your post. Why? Because you've trained me to ignore you, Caitlin. I check your blog every ten days. What if I forget who you are? What if you drift off in the tri-state oblivion-filing-cabinet that holds all those church people I met last year?
Oh Caitlin . . . The things I have to put up with! jk. Anyway, you need a little self confidence, just because my dad thought you had epilepsy(I enjoy spellin phanetically (see)), doesn't mean everyone thinks your a freak for not having a license. You need some self-confidence. I would give you some of mine, but I don't know how to. hehehe. See you after Play Practice, oh, I'm sorry, rehersal.
Caitlin, next time someone questions your lack of driving, you should just whisper, "I killed my sister. I killed my sister."
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