A Conversation with November

November: Um Caitlin? Caaaaaaitlin...

Caitlin!

Me: Shut up, November. Can't you take a hint? Leave me alone.

November: Hey, remember that time you were like "Oh, don't worry November. I'll write you a blog entry. I've got tons of ideas..." and then you -- oh what's the word -- didn't?

Me: You know what, November? You kind of suck at being a smart ass.

November: Well, at least I'm not a liar with a cold black soul.

Me: I am not a liar! You know I meant to write. I was just...busy.

November: Busy doing what? Watching episodes of Canada's Next Top Model on YouTube? Because that sounds pretty taxing, both mentally and physically.

Me: Bite me, November. I was busy...being in college...and getting wasted...and sleeping with multiple partners. And popping pills -- hardcore stimulants I bought off the black market with money I made selling naked pictures of myself on a website called "busty and barely legal" -- like they're Flinstones vitamins. It's what we modern, edgy college kids do.

November: --silence--

Me: Oh, fine. So, I've been living like the same Canada's Next Top Model loving nun as I always have. You're right. I've really let you down with my neglectful laziness. I'm sorry, November.

November: That's more like it. It's just too bad "sorry" can't turn back time...

Hey kids. I know It's too late for me to make it up to November for falling off the face of the planet there for a month and a half, but I hope it's not too late for me to make it up to you, the fans! Stay tuned after finals time for some lengthy airpot ramblings on my missing underwear and an ode to this past semester's classes. It'll be awesome.

That's all. Now go and rock the face off those finals. Do it for me. And November.